Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
