all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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