Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
