My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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