everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
