Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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