There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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