my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
