You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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