Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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