Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
