now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
