is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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