someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
