Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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