So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
