Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
