Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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