You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
