no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
