So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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