i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
