If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
How does it feel to date your dad?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
