can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
