I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
