Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
