Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We named our party play list daddy issues
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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