I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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