I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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