worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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