I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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