I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
