TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
