I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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