I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
