Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
