You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
