3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
