i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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