Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
