After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
