I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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