i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
