White coat. Heels.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
