I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
