plz talk dirty to me
In the future we'll all be gay
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
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