When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
