im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
