the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
