No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
