I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
